After many wrong turns, missed turns, and semi Y-turns, we finally made it to the pirate themed party. Here we were, two of the three oldest people at the party and the only thing that could make this any less uncomfortable is the substance that's supposed to be in the keg... which is tapped by the way.

[grunt]

People were either too young or too drunk to care, but every single person came up to us and introduced themselves. It was different, refreshing even. Majority of college parties around here aren't too exciting because the people hang out in their little cliques. They tilt their snooted noses up at you and act like you're the kid that pissed your pants in chemistry last semester.

We met very interesting people.
Oh, did I mention there were two bottles of Captain being passed around? They were more like jugs really.
Thank you Captain.

This is the host of the party...who was too drunk to answer her phone when I called for directions from an unknown location.
P.S. I have no idea what I was doing in this photo. I think I was aiming for my nose and found my lip instead. Silly drunkenness.

This is Chris Kringle. He's a very twisted emo boy. Still hurt from his girlfriend dumping him, angry at his parents for wanting him to get a job, yadda yadda... He's currently a nomad who likes asking people he just met deep, heavy questions like, "what hurts you the most?"
Oh, and he also enjoys permanent marker designs on his face and/or body. By the way, that giant penis on his chest... that was me. *bow* Thank you, thank you.


This is Ebay. He's drunkity drunk drunk. So drunk that he believes Wisconsin is next to the ocean. So drunk that he swears he can hear it. So drunk that he doesn't realize he's holding the plastic cup to his ear. He is 15 and believes I am 16 and adorable. Flattered... He believes the relationship I'm in is "new and not very serious" and that he should pursue his prey. Thank you Kimberly for torturing this young soul for our entertainment.

We also met a very attractive young man who I don't remember his name, but I do remember he made the best drinks at the party. And Mark, who was this ghetto white boy, picking fights throughout the night to prove his dick was bigger than everybody else's (even if you didn't have a dick). He liked to call me Perkins. I felt special.

Lastly, I randomly took a picture of a kid swaying back and forth while he used the glow from his cell phone to find whatever it was he was looking for. This happens to be one of Kimberly's cousins. She didn't want to embarrass him, or herself for that matter, so she chose to hide from him in the shadows. Eventually I talked her into coming into the light and joining the more experienced drinkers.

Yo ho ho, a pirate's life for me!