Oh thats rich. Sitting there all sexy-like with its lacy curves and sexual intoxication as it screams "insert here."

Let me start at the beginning.

I forcefully pulled my eyes off of the hypnotic dryer in front of my face. Trying to kill time, I stared at any abandoned laundry scattered throughout the room instead. A children's shirt laid neatly folded on the folding table. A mate to another sock was dropped near the exit door. The usual scene at the BP laundry mat. The only other person in the facility was an older lady occupied with her diet Coke and Doritos. Earlier that same lady saved me from being caught in the same situation as all of the other laundry droppers. I had dropped a sock out of the washer and she pointed it out to me. Saint Dorito.

I continued scanning the room for an odd or end that would occupy my time for 7 more minutes. Clock. . . fan. . . thong.............THONG??

And this is when my dilemma all began...

Oh thats rich. I bet it belongs to that bitchy chick that just left. Sitting there all sexy-like with its lacy curves and sexual intoxication as it screams "insert here." Slut.

Should I take it? Is that wrong? That's gross right? I mean, its someone else's underwear. What would I do with it? I could wear it. Double gross! It's SOMEONE ELSE'S UNDERWEAR!!! I could totally tie it to somebody's antenna on campus. *immature giggle* That was a good film clip today in class. Focus Nicole. Nicole the Thong Thief. Damn, what the hell is wrong with me?! Who the hell even thinks of stealing someone's leftover underwear?? I am a sick sick individual. But thongs are funny... right? Yes, thongs ARE funny.

7 minutes quickly passed. I left thong-less.

But I did learn a valuable lesson: I need to go underwear shopping.